Keep Smiling, they say!

     "Smile", one of those overused words I had never put an effort to realise its importance. Back in childhood, this effort was much unnecessary as smiling faces needed no reasons behind. Lost in time, we seldom forget to do things without reasons which is why smiling, for me, reduced to a mere exercise of my jaw. And sure, there were a lot of those. Comes across a familiar face and there goes one, "Cheese!", and there goes another. Literally not a minute difference between both, not in practice, not in nature, fake and formal being so. Lately, on one of the happier and easier than the average days, I noticed how people smiled while exchanging greetings (the ones where its more than just stretching the jaws). More importantly, I found myself reciprocating them the way they were meant, with an open heart, caring little if a couple or two extra teeth gave up a show. And with each smile becoming broader, I realised I had not once connected to those faces the way I did with this smile now. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded of the simplest things, especially those that we come across so often that habitually start to underestimate their importance.

And if you are still looking for reasons, here they go :)

Smile, because it feels warm.
Smile, because you need it.
Smile, because it reminds being loved.
Smile, because it reflects confidence.
Smile, because it also builds it.
Smile, because it makes you pretty.
Smile, because it makes everyone around pretty.
Smile, because "this" is never going to come back.
Smile, because you are young.
Smile, because you want to grow old looking young.
Smile, because sometimes its all thats needed to break the wall.
Smile, because sometimes its all thats needed to break your own wall.
Smile, because it sets you free.
Smile, because it comes back.

Because, when you know a person, you know life :)

From a person having a dozen of close friends back till 10th grade, I’ve become someone who has not a name to recall from my 11th and 12th.  And ever since, it has been more of losing friendships than finding them. While some lost to stupid fights, the most regretting were the ones that lost to silence and inhibitions built for no reason.I have no idea as to how many from the other end of those friendships feels the same way as I do, but if you are reading this, I probably dwell more in those ruins than the existing ones. Do I want to die knowing and remembering hardly a score of people all my life? Do I want to die with hardly a dozen to be remembering me? The questions scare me!

   There is the most common defence in “how everyone ends up in life having hardly a couple of friends by their sides”. As much as I wouldn’t like to question the fact, I still don’t believe why such things be put as an excuse to being a complete failure in having something that sure might not flourish in the long run, but doesn’t die either.

   I don’t know if I am a socially awkward person or just a bit too moody with the mood mostly inclined towards refraining from being friendly to people. Around a couple of years hence, and I will, yet again, be in the same position to recall names, and I surely don’t want it to be some exercise for my brain; which by the way doesn’t seem to be heading anywhere in that direction. Keeping aside a couple of really close friends I’ve made in Kgp, I really don’t see myself feeling nostalgic for many. Do I want to tell stories about “the college days of my life” with only a couple of names in there? Moreover, how many such stories shall I find a place in, however small the part may be?

   All of this beginning with a lazy day when I didn’t really want to go out with friends, which helplessly gets converted to a lazy week. They soon stop asking and I decide to be lazy again for asking them out myself. Call me lazy, or call me a really bad initiator! “What does it take to say a small Hi and let the conversation just build up?” - one of my friends pointed out. Sure it doesn’t, and I think again, of course it does! How in the hell are conversations meant to build up? Am I struggling with something that comes so naturally to others! Where in all of this am I going wrong?

   This note goes to all those I have missed at some point or another, to those I have let go for stupid reasons, others for no reasons, and to those I never could open up to, or never wanted to for some senseless grudge. I truly consider it my loss for locking myself in a shell of my own, and I wish I could change the fact. To the spoiled ones – you know how we manage with those once in a while chats, I would want to continue with those no matter how awkward they might get. To the ones I might just end up spoiling with - could you please help up with my nature – I may never be the first one to start, but that nowhere implies I don’t want to. If this means anything close to the way it does to me, until I figure out why is to so difficult, could you please help me make it easier. And finally to those who have managed to stay glued, thanks for reading this (and for the reason you know why).