Loving a life that sucks!

I am a mid 20 professional, settled with my post graduation, working in a career field of my choice and living an independent life in city of dreams, Mumbai. I look outside the windows of my 13th floor flat, and disappointed, I absolutely not feel any bit of what I had expected this to be. Monica Gellar, in F.R.I.E.N.D.S welcomes the real world with how "it sucks, you are gonna love it", some term it as quarter life crisis, some just call it adulting and growing up.

Essential to adulting, sure come a few lessons and here's my what and why exactly is so wrong about growing up and how some of us can try to make peace with it.

• What next? -  What takes away the peace has nothing to do with the growing up, but probably with the question of what we are growing into. Science Vs Commerce was an easy choice, student ranking decided the stream of study we pursued, and with a little clarity that came with time it wasn't much of a crises choosing between higher education or the other alternative. Last 9 years, I've pretty much been blind folded and yet have always known the road that lay beyond the next milestone I would approach. Even if there would be a few dilemmas of choosing between the options presented to us, we still knew the options that existed. From choosing a road to now having to build your own road, even deciding where to place your next milestone, and then building ahead is an idea that scares me. "Future hi nahi dikh raha", is exactly what am talking about. Where I stand today, had been my future all this while, and now some of us probably need to halt and figure out our new future. We probably are pretty much OKAY, just where we are, and should give time to this crucial cross road we are in, but of course there are more of the toxic expectations we've got ourselves trapped into. 

• Deriving Happiness from our Jobs - Isn't that exactly what we toiled for in the last 6-8 years? Starting from higher secondary school, life has mostly been about building a secure career. Yes, there would be friends and hobbies and vacations, but they've truly always been the peripherals. Having spent 4 years doing engineering, in the back of my mind, I always knew MBA had to be my cup of tea, and so I pursued it, with no hint of doubt. And, so I believe, most of us have followed our calling, so much so that trying to derive contentment and satisfaction from our particular jobs is most natural. Any tiny fly disturbing this cup of tea, that we now own, is a big big disappointment to our idea of living our dream one day. Job is monotonous, unless you are a painter or a dancer, it is simply put a chore of tasks that almost always remains the same for days becoming months and years. There would be highs in between, but very bluntly, they will give you the high in life because they will be rare. The degree of how exciting they would be, will depend on your frame of reference, but all of them will sooner or later become the usual, inevitably. Coming from a place where you've dealt with challenging academic situations, this will seem like a place and life you don't belong or don't deserve. But, you'll need to belong to this new constant in your life, and the best way out would be through acceptance. Some of us would make the best of our weekends, with parties and vacations and good food and clothes, that however would be just 2/7th of your life, and the rest still would remain monotonous. 

• The tireless energy of achieving things -  Another toxic loop we all keep falling for is our need to keep achieving and proving our worth for the simple fact of having turned some big stones until now. I see some of my over achiever friends keep running after the best university for higher education, or the best job in the country. All of this works as long as this ambition gives you the right energy to keep going in life, but for some this could become a bit taxing, especially when failures keep hitting again and again.  Few might even lose sight of what could be well within reach for something that needs must be possessed for the mere purpose of satisfying our self worth. For some it could be cribbing over what you already have achieved simply because you cannot tame your tireless energy of achieving something more. Your ambition, which should be a source of hope will soon start bringing in all the hopelessness and despair. This is a lot of frustration, and a never ending one. 

• Directing our Energies - This monotonicity and frustration builds a stagnant dump of energy in our system. Earlier in our lives, we have had several vents supporting the free flow of negative and positive vibes. These came in the form of family time, student clubs and societies, festivals, also examinations. And they came in such natural forms, most of us never really realized how subconsciously we were all a part of such a critical process that keeps us going. Quite naturally then, we wouldn't know how to channelize this energy when most of the above mentioned factors go missing. This is exactly why we need to find or even create our own new vents. Writing became my way of letting free my built up mental energy, running now makes me confident, music early morning is my new sunshine and visiting a temple gets me peace I had not known before. Some of these may be more obvious to us, but the best will come through searching your new vents. This process of searching will open your eyes to a self you didn't know before. Some will surprise themselves with learning new hobbies and discovering new talents bringing the much needed relief to their monotonous lives. For some it would open doors to life beyond their professional jobs that they have been failing to derive happiness from. Some frustrated souls would go on to run the longest miles or climb the highest peaks and save their depreciating self worth in achieving something they never thought was within their capabilities. And with that one might finally start loving a life that sucks.