Chaotic Night of Reunion

Impossible to transcript the essence, but an attempt to record it for our kids who we plan to make best friends. Topics not suitable for them have been kept out of the record. 

• Plan begins a month back, Poonam shall fly to Bangalore, Apurva sadly will not be able to make it
• But FOMO makes Apurva glued to whatsapp, maintaining her importance
• Poonam uses this reunion to lecture Ruchika on being an independent woman, which she's proud she's not 
• Ruchika emotionally blackmails and dramatically leaves the apartment in the middle of the night 
• I don't miss the chance to video record it
• They don't even notice
• Poonam still doesn't want to give her attention, but goes down bare foot to eventually prove her dedication 
• Sneha being Sneha comes 2 hours late
• Super dramatic scene outside the apartment, thankfully am not the host
• Sheenal cooks food for us, we shamelessly let her do that alone
• Sneha tries to help Sheenal, we doubt if she did
• 750 ml of the whisky still awaits to be opened
• It has to start with bitching first
• FOMO struck Apurva recharges her Internet immediately after office, video call begins 
• Poonam argues how she's always given us a preference over her other come and go friends 
• She thinks sharing a bed with us is a good enough point 
• Choco cake cut with ice cream, and we let it melt coz we are not done with taking photos
• Ruchika being Ruchika sleeps
• Video call put on hold, and we know this is the time to click
• And perfectly, Sheenal is wearing her Orange Selfie T
• Sneha wants to capture a good share of the frame, she doesn't even care she's sleeping over Ruchika 
• Nor does Ruchika
• Talks of KGP, and judgements about those who haven't had a privilege like us
• Bets between Sneha and Poonam 
• Whoever wins, rest of us get sponsored honeymoon trips
• While Poonam continuously talks about startup temples, intelligent people who have turned her on, Sheenal,  Apurva, Sneha and I have swiped our Instagram a million times 
• Apurva weirdly oils her hair, and something worth the notice 
• Forget the whiskey, we get high on super sexy looking cold coffee 
• Poonam goes to get water, but comes back without it 
• Poonam needs Dygeine, we don't, but we still have it
• Ruchika wakes and we finally get someone to get us water
• Also someone to now talk about snakes
• FOMO makes APURVA stick to video call for 4 hours,  and calculate probabilities in the middle of it 
• Pillow fight with Sneha, who needs to be punished for coming late
• I try to read for tomorrow's class, they know am pretending and time for some more MBA jokes 
• While Poonam continuously talks about startup temples, intelligent people who have turned her on, Sheenal,  Apurva, Sneha and I have swiped our Instagram a million times 
• Ruchika pleads to let her sleep, nobody stands a chance with her
• Its now time for Sneha to sleep
• But we know she's over hearing while she sleeps
• The chaotic night this is, I should better be blogging it 
• It's already an hour since we decided to end the call
• But Apurva can't even leave us for going to washroom
• And yes, Sneha does comment once in while, in her sleep 
• Apurva finally keeps her phone down
• And Poonam's arms find relief,  after holding the phone on call for the last 5 hours
• Oh, all this while Ruchika is probably dreaming about her green snakes
• They keep peeping on my phone
• They think am writing good stuff about them 
• All of a sudden we are in the middle of a fight, the second one for the day
• Ruchika wakes up again, and she's thanking it's not her now
• I don't care, its going to end harmless,  as usual
• Ruchika asks to sleep for the 100th time
• And a 50 plus,  gives me a good number to stop it now

Nights like this! 

Home Feels

Eyes open to Dad's favorite news channel,

And yes, they shut to Mom's favorite nagger. 

When missing breakfast becomes a suicidal mistake, 

And Hair Oiling be the perfect Friday Night date.

That bliss of watching everything from the 90s, 

While waiting for Dad getting street food salty. 

Your mom still doesn't let you watch Fear Files,

Her yet another habit that brings you smiles. 

Fighting with your sister for the same old skirt, 

After running through that trunk dump in dirt. 

Being careful enough to be just below your brother, 

In the scoreboard of scolds from your mother.

You absolutely can't travel without that tiffin dabba, 

Waving the whole family bye at the Hawai Adda. 

Not about Love ~ From a single 24!

Coming from a person who has, for the past 8 years, been in a relationship for 7 of them, why 24 is the perfect age to be single! 

• In the past 8 months, I started running, lost 5 kgs and gained them back, said a goodbye to not less than 10 inches of my hair (that I had treasured since forever), became best friends with my books, ended my hatred with early mornings, filed my first FIR and sketched a human portrait. With every minute being spent on myself, I acknowledge self-development better and can proudly, guilt-free be the self-centered person one might like to call me. 
• My cell phone has the liberty to doze off at midnight, and be silently kept aloof in some corner of the room for days and nights, being least bothered to answer a someone am bound to. Depressing, as it may seem at first, not sleeping to a goodbye or waking up to a good morning over phone can be more than a refreshing change that brings you closer to the long-ignored simplicity of the glaring window with sunrise and the silence of the nights. 
• I’ve swiped right a few, crushed over the biggest crush of my life, put one of those silly Sarahah confessions, talked and danced with strangers, fantasized of a Mr. Pilot and a Dr. Perfect, even danced to “mere khwabon mein jo aye”, tried reading my marriage line while totally enjoying the beauty of unpredictability that lies ahead. Also, being okay with the possibility of not finding a someone ever, I’ve planned my after 30s to be a life dedicated to my single girlfriends (if there be any) with exploring the options of turning a lesbian someday. 
• Being completely honest, there have also been sleepless nights, and days being completely wasted weeping on bed, the questions of having taken the wrong path, the apprehensions to land in a future worse than today. Away from family and friends, in cities and worlds new, “he” is indeed needed much more than ever, and yet, there is an understated contentment to come back to none other than yourself, to be able to see yourself sensible enough to calm the totally maniac person you are and appreciate the ones who have been doing till now. 

When life gives you a lemon, you make a lemonade, and when life gives you life, you simply live. Not that I've had torturing relationships till now, they have been positively responsible to the person I am today, and it is now time for me to be in a relationship with myself and add to me that no one else can. At 24, this stands for me the best time to appreciate what I have and what I don’t.

Good Morning, without the snooze!

     A recent read, titled The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg, was a reality check to everything I had been doing wrong till now. Well, probably not all the small little million things I am guilty of, but about those keynote habits that shape my daily routine, mood, energy and every other important thing one should be bothered about.This one is about that simple yet powerful habit of starting your day early, like all the (good) moms, my mother, too, had tried to teach me, that later translated to those forced morning shouts (read alarms). She finally gave up on the stubborn lazy ass I had become, who had successfully convinced to her, the world and importantly herself of how she wasn't a morning person and should stop trying to be one.

      As a college student, I never understood the logic behind waking up at 6, or even 8, for a class that was to begin at 10. Who gives up 2-3 hours of this precious time practically doing nothing! I am partly to blame my early school days, where a school at 8 would force me to wake up at 6 something, with the only motivation of catching the school bus at 7. Coming to college, I would only find myself awake at 8 during times of last minute preparation on the day of exams. And, so was born the self-built concept, more of a subconscious habit to wake up to a class, a job, precisely a list of certain unavoidable things. Exercise, yoga or even breakfast had somehow always failed to make to the list. Amidst the so called busy life of college, engineering followed by an MBA, I soon found myself caught up in this single most destructive vicious cycle. For the past year and a half, I have better understood the absolute necessity to come out of which, and with some effort managed to wake up for my early morning classes. The catch being - how it still required a reason good enough to find a place in "my list" and sacrifice my sweet affair with sleep.

     It is difficult to build a habit without knowing the why behind it. This brings me to the book and how I look forward to it bringing that long wished change in me. The Power of Habit, talks about the loop of habit, which begins with a cue, ends in a reward, and in between lies the routine. To build any habit, it is crucial to have a reward strong enough to have an associated craving. My morning behavior very smoothly fit into this, and I could spot that hole in the loop, that of a missing reward. I could make sense of the rationale behind my self-built concept of waking up to nothing. During my struggle with morning blues, I had attempted to wake up to my favorite songs or radio in the alarm, Facebook, Instagram and other social media and seldom to the daily news apps as well. While they did contribute to my instant gratification, they never qualified to be actual rewards. We have all read about how meditation, yoga, exercising have been rewards to some of the most successful CXOs and other big titled men; but what could be my reward?

     Turns out, most of us are not really "a morning person" and I haven't been God's chosen one. Which means, if one wakes up at 7, she would only be able to do something productive after 8. What life gives us in between, is a couple of hours devoid of outside control. When we first wake up in the morning, we're in a highly vulnerable state. Fresh from the world of dreams and the unconscious, it always takes a few minutes for our psyche to plant fully back into our bodies. Some traditions teach that the soul travels between worlds when we sleep. This speaks to the fact that morning is a time when the portal between conscious and unconscious is thin, the veil lifted. As I write this at 7 in the morning, an addition to my blog after years, I do get a fractional sense to that and what could possibly be my reward.